Mikael Uhlin's Marxology @ marx-brothers.org

Yellow Camel Taxi Service

Groucho What do you do with your camels? How do you rent them? By the hour?

Chico I just fill them up with water and they go for eight days.

Groucho What do you feed them?

Chico Peanuts - it's the healthiest food in the world.

Groucho How do you know?

Chico I was a monkey for three years.

Groucho (glancing at him doubtfully) It's been longer than that.
By the way, what are your rates?

Chico Twenty francs for a camel with two humps, and ten francs for a camel with one hump.

Groucho What do you charge for a camel with no humps?

Chico A camel with no humps is a horse. I gotta horse too, but the horse has a bump.

Groucho (eyeing the street below him wistfully) If I could get back down there I'd go that way.

Chico Don't worry about the price, Boss. Whatever you got - I take.

They arrive at the hotel and is greeted by Harpo, who takes possession of Groucho's carpet-bag
Groucho Be careful of that. Everything I own in the world is in that bag! The bag flips open

Chico Hey! That bag is empty.

Groucho That'll give you an idea what I own.

Chico (returning to business) That'll be one hundred francs, Boss.

Groucho But the meter says fifty francs.

Chico Yeh, but I told you. It's double for a camel with two humps.

Groucho gives up and pays but behind his back Chico removes one detachable hump. Meanwhile, Harpo produces a whisk broom and begin violently to brush what remains of Groucho's threadbare suit.

Groucho Hey, get away from me. What's the idea? What do you do anyway?
Harpo pulls out a red-hot iron from his trousers, wets his forefinger and touches the iron with a little phut.

Chico That's what he does, Boss. He's a valet.

Groucho But he was trying to undress me.

Chico That's his business. He dresses and undresses the Count. Rusty's got a very tough job - the Count's got a lot of clothes. He makes sixteen changes a day.

Groucho What's so wonderful about that? I did that when I was three months old.