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The Marx Brothers
Marxology - Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief


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Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief

Music by Hoagy Carmichael
Words by Paul Francis Webster

There's a doctor livin' in your town
There's a lawyer and an Indian, too
And neither doctor, lawyer nor Injun chief
Could love you any more than I do

There's a barrel of fish in the ocean
There's a lot of little birds in the blue
And 'Neither fish nor fowl"
says the wise old owl
Could love you any more than I do

No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
I'm gonna warn all the dead-eyed dicks
That you're the chick with the slickest tricks
And every tick of my ticker ticks for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face
'cause you Know! Know! Know!
it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

(No! No! No! it couldn't be true)
(That anyone else could love you like I do)

And, confidentially, I confess
I sent a note to the local press
That I'll be changin' my home address
for you, follow through

Tell the doc to stick to his practice
Tell the lawyer to settle his case
Send the Injun chief and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face
'cause you Know! Know! Know! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do
No! No! No! it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do

I'm gonna send a hot communeek
To warn the boys down at Cripple Creek
That every dimple on your dimpled cheek is mine, so to speak

Tell the (doc!) to stick to his practice
Tell the (lawyer!) to settle his case
Send the (Injun chief!) and his tommy-hawk
Back to little Rain-In-the-Face (woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo)
'cause you Know! Know! Know!
it couldn't be true
That anyone else could love you like I do


Betty Hutton

Doctor, Lawyer and Chief were characters in I'll Say She Is and like Love Is Sweeping The Country from Of Thee I Sing, I've included this song on the site because of the similar use of the old rhyme. Both songs may also be used in the Film Fantasy. Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief was sung by Betty Hutton in the film Stork Club in 1946 and peaked the same year at # 1 (competing version charted by Les Brown at #6) and Hoagy Carmichael at #18). Betty Hutton's sister Marion appeared as Bunny Dolan in the Marx Brothers' last film Love Happy.
A "dick" was slang for a detective or private eye. Per the dictionary, "dead-eye" means an expert marksman. A dead-eyed dick (or possibly "dead-eye dick") in the context of the song refers to someone "aiming at" or "with his sights on" someone...but like the doctor, lawyer, etc., Hutton sings that they can all just go peddle their papers elsewhere. "Communeek" is an intentional mispronunciation of the word "communique".

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