Home | Movies | Animal Crackers | Scene: Hooray for Captain Spaulding
Music and Lyrics by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
All: At last we are to meet him, the famous Captain Spalding.
From climates hot and scalding, the Captain has Arrived!
Most heartily we'll greet him, with plain and fancy cheering,
until he's hard of hearing. The Captain has arrived!
At last the Captain has arrived!
Jamison: I represent the Captain, who insists on my informing you
of these conditions under which he comes here.
In one thing he is very strict, he wants the women young and picked,
and as for men, he don't want any bums here.
All: As for men he don't want any bums here.
There must be no bums!
Jamison: The men must all be very old, the women hot, the champagne cold.
It's under these conditions that he comes here.
Hives: I'm announcing Captain Jeffrey Spalding.
All: He's announcing Captain Jeffrey Spalding.
Oh dear, he is coming.
At last he's here.
Spalding (speaks): Well I'm certainly grateful for this magnificent washout, eh, turnout, and, eh,
now I'd like to say a few words...
(sings) Hello, I must be going.
I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going.
I'm glad I came, but just the same I must be going.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: For my sake you must stay.
If you should go away, you'll spoil this party I am throwing.
Spalding: I'll stay a week or two.
I'll stay the summer through.
But I am telling you that I must be going.
Mrs. Rittenhouse: Before you go will you oblige us
and tell us of your deeds so glowing?
Spalding: I'll do anything you say.
In fact, I'll even stay!
All: Good!
Spalding: But I must be going.
Jamison: The Captain is a moral man.
Sometimes he finds it trying.
Spalding: This fact I'll emphasize with stress:
I never take a drink unless somebody's buying.
All: The Captain is a very moral man!
Jamison: If he hears anything obscene,
he'll naturally repel it.
Spalding: I hate a dirty joke, I do,
unless it's told by someone who knows how to tell it.
All: The Captain is a very moral man!
Hooray for Captain Spalding!
The African Explorer!
Spalding: Did someone call me shnoror?
All: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
Jamison: He went into the jungle, where all the monkeys throw nuts.
Spalding: If I stay here, I'll go nuts.
All: Hooray, hooray, hooray.
He put all his reliance in courage and defiance,
and risked his life for science...
Spalding: Hey, hey!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: He's the only white man who covered every acre.
Spalding: I think I'll try to make her.
All: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
He put all his reliance in courage and defiance,
and risked his life for science...
Spalding: Hey, hey!
All: Hooray for Captain Spalding!
The African Explorer!
He brought his name undying fame,
and that is why we say, hooray, hooray, hooray. (etc.)
(This page was originally created for Frank Bland's 'Why A Duck?' website)
